You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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