so explain again why im purple
no
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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