before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
