question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
