You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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