dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
