I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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