I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
