Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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