i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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