what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
