just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
