I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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