Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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