I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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