3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
