i would punch a child for taco bell
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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