oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You may now shotgun with the bride
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
