I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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