Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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