I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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