I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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