Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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