don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
