In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
