So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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