Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
