The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
