I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
