she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
