I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
