Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize