i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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