We named our party play list daddy issues
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
