so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
