Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
