If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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