: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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