my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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