currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
