dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize