we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
