Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
