I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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