It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
