I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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