I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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