I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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