Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
