Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
