He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
