Sponge bath it is.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
