My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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