somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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