I am spending my child support on dildos
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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