you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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