Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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