I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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