I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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