everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
